Court: Striking Your Child Once in Face May Be Abusive
Judges say parents go too far if the blow leaves a handprint or bruising.
A parent who strikes a child in the face hard enough to leave fingerprints and bruising has used excessive force and can be put on a list of abusive parents, a state appeals court ruled Tuesday.
In their 16-page opinion, judges Victor Ashrafi and Douglas Fasciale reviewed two other cases in which a parent who slapped a teenager and another parent who struck her child on the shoulder were found not to have used excessive force. But in this case, the judges held that striking the child in the face, and with enough force to leave a mark the following morning, crossed the line.
"Slapping the face of an eight-year-old child with sufficient force to leave a hand imprint and cause bruising goes 'beyond what is proper and reasonable,'" the court held.
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Click here to read the court's full opinion in the case.
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But the judges made it clear that the specific circumstances of the case were what determined their conclusion. The mother reported that her son had been unruly for some time and had been disciplined at school two days earlier. According to the court record, he had kicked his younger sister in the stomach and his father had come upstairs and yelled at him to stop.
At that point, the mother, who was nine months pregnant, confronted her son and asked why he kicked his sister. When he “shrugged his shoulders, ‘as if he didn’t care,’” and then said that he had kicked her because he “felt like it,” the mother slapped her son's left cheek.
In the morning, she applied a cold washcloth to his face and his father took him to school. But school officials noticed a red mark on the 8-year-old's face that resembled fingerprints, and reported the incident to the Department of Youth and Family Services.
In an initial hearing, an administrative law judge decided that the slap was not excessive punishment, but the DFYS reviewed the case and overruled the judge. While the child was not removed from his parents' care, the mother was put on a state list of abusive parents.
The appellate court considered two other cases where parents were found to be within their rights in striking their children. In one, a parent had slapped a teenager in the face, but without leaving any bruise or mark. The judges in that case held that the parent's action did not constitute abuse.
In a second case, a single mother had struck her 8-year-old daughter four or five times on the shoulder, leaving a bruise. But the judges distinguished that case, noting that the mother had been alone, had first given the child a time out, which had not worked, and struck the child on the shoulder and not in the face.
"The location of the blow that [the mother] landed upon her eight-year-old son was particularly vulnerable; striking [her son] in the face intensified the potential for harm, as this is a risky area due to the presence of many sensitive organs located nearby. The risks associated with such blows are numerous and serious and could include bone damage, tooth damage, eye injuries, jaw injuries or worse," the judges wrote.
The court also considered that the mother did not first try some other means of getting her son to behave, before striking him.
The mother's attorney, Walter Schreyer, said the ruling, "doesn’t make a lot of sense to me," according to NJ.com.
Do you agree with the court's opinion?
Becky
10:21 pm on Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I'm from a family of 10 kids. If my mother had to put us in timeout every time we acted up every corner in the house would of been filled, for a good part of the day!
joy alford
8:46 pm on Wednesday, December 5, 2012
I don't necessarily agree with time out but slapping a child in the face is a very abusive act.. The buttocks can be used instead of the face. You could cause ear damage, bone damage, neck injury, eye injury, such as a busted eye vessel.
Eyeballs
10:39 pm on Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Another reason why our society is going down the toilet. As yourself: is society better off now or a generation ago? Today our schools are full of drugs and violence while 30 years ago the biggest crime was chewing gum in class. Time to wake up, folks.
Jim Tobias
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Really? 30 years ago was 1982; crime rates were higher then (one source: http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm); drug use also (http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/infofacts/high-school-youth-trends). Maybe you mean the good old days of the 1950s? Another myth. Family violence is violence.
Mel Sharples
1:56 pm on Thursday, April 18, 2013
Yeah, I miss those days of "Taxi Driver" era NYC and America.
Future Old Angry Italian Guy
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
But do you see the schools had tO deal with a situation. We bash teachers time and time again. Damned if they dO damned if they don't
D'Most Balddouche'
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Blind eyeballs. What school did you go to.There were plenty of drugs in the schools 30 years ago. Must of us got jobs, had kids and grew out of it.
Future Old Angry Italian Guy
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My mothers time out was "wait till your father gets home." and when he did we got whipped bad. I know I deserved it and took my punishment like a man,
Nina Parrilla
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
And as an adult you think hitting people is OK, that says enough.
Nande
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I raised 3 Children and never ever laid a hand on them. All three are good productive adults, in College and successful. When I was a young Mom, (no family around), I struggled with how to discipline once my child reached the “terrible twos”. I enrolled in a parenting class. The techniques I learned carried me all the way through their childhoods. I can not conceive ever hitting them. It is such a violation of respect and trust. If you can't correct your child's behavior without hitting them, perhaps you should go and take a parenting class. You might be surprised what you learn and the results it may have. After all, we want to teach our children that physical violence is never OK.
Amber Wright
10:54 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I agree with you - hitting a child is never the answer - we can parent without resorting to that!
Nina Parrilla
11:45 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Good for you mama.
sww
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
What next? Will yelling at little timmy for kicking his sister be considered verbal felony child abuse? Maybe farting in the same room should be considered child endangerment !
kate
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
You are right that our society is going down the toilet. Since when is one slap across the face abusive? I have never needed to resort to it but there are moments when a slap is appropriate. I'm a mandated reporter and this is not crossing the line.
Nina Parrilla
11:46 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Its always been abusive.
Lashanda ImSingle Burton
12:34 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
I think a slap across the face is degrading in any situation between any2 ppl... Also he was only 8 a slap in the face is not age appropriate punishment, and you have to take into consideration the fact that there was a mark still there in the mornin and after asking a cold compress. That seems like excessive force
Mel Sharples
1:56 pm on Thursday, April 18, 2013
The ONLY thing slapping your kid teaches them is to slap their kid when they're an adult.
That's it, that's all, nothing else.
Sophia Loyd
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
This is what happens when schools and tv tell your children spanking is "child abuse" they get a single slap and bring on the big glassy eyes exaggerate the story the only way a child can on how mommy and daddy are mean and terrible people.
KC
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
IMO a slap that leaves a mark is abusive. On the other hand a kick in the a$$ never hurt "nobody".
Laurie
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I agree, a good spanking on the butt, not in the face. If it were done between adults, it would be considered domestic violence.
cynicinmarlboro
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
A good smack gave me the lesson I needed while I was growing up. It only took one for me to learn. I'm sure the justices must have gotten smacked as well - they couldn't have all been good little angels. Perhaps they need a smack now!
Jim Tobias
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Look how long the bruise lasted -- overnight (unless the article is mistaken), and even after trying to hide it with a cold washcloth. Those who think this isn't abusive -- would you place any limit on a parent's 'right' to resort to physical discipline?
Tom Cular
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My mother would have been in jail for life! I'm 70 and survived, we never had that "Wait till your father gets home routine”. As Bill Cosby often said, his mother could throw a shoe around the corner and hit the target. We also shared a coke with friends, kissed the dog, ate peanut butter and drank from the garden hose, WOW, were still here. All without PC judges and DYFS. I just don't know how we made it.
Nina Parrilla
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My friends mother hit him with a shoes when he was a child, he had to spend a few days in the hospital due to the head injury. Its not OK.
Old Guy
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
An adult should never hit a child with force anywhere around the head area, neck included, especially when the adult is angry. Such a blow is dangerous and could cause injury. A well directed smack to the backside gets their attention just as well and its a lot safer.
Christina Warren
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
A child should be punished for their bad behavior. However, a parent should punish the child out of love not anger. If a parent is enraged they should not approach to punish, get your senses about you then punish. There is a difference from smacking your child and spanking your child. If a child goes without being punished, their hearts harden to good things. No remorse-no compassion, no compassion-no respect, and that is what our kids are lacking now a days.
aspin
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My parents each hit me once when I was kid and that was enough for me to know they weren't messing around. After that, them giving me the evil eye if i was acting out of line was all it took because I respected their authority. I in no way support child abuse but coddling your kids isn't going to do them any good. Generally, if you let your kids walk all over you, they are going to go out and do the same to every adult they encounter.
Lynne
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Teaching children through violence is never ok, and never appropriate. If you can't find a civilized and effective way to discipline your child, maybe you are not ready to be a parent.
Kelly H
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
did they take into consideration the child's complexion? My boys both have really fair skin, if you tickle them it leaves red marks on his belly. They are constantly covered in bruises that they don't even know where they came from, nor do they hurt. Scary to think I could be considered an abuse parent for tickling my kids.
Nina Parrilla
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
The child wasn't tickled
Amber Wright
11:08 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
The child had fingerprints on his face - are you seriously comparing that to being tickled????
BW
9:13 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
This is what is wrong with kids and society today. You punish your child or give them a swat on the butt, and someone calls the state on you. These kids are taught in school that if they are being hurt at home they should tell. Yes if they are being HURT, not because they were grounded for the weekend, or wasnt allowed to go hang out at the boardwalk or the mall.
When we were kids, you didnt talk back, you didnt question your parents, or your wouldnt be able to sit for a day. Kids today have no respect for authority, and when you try to discipline them, you are considered abusive.
Nina Parrilla
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
The article isn't about a swat on the butt, its about a slap to the face that leaves a bruise.
Don
9:59 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I can't imagine anyone thinking it's ok to slap a child in the face. Now a good hard slap on the butt or hand is fine. Punishing a child and not letting them go out or watch TV (or go on their computer) is also a good punishment but slapping a child on the face is absolutely wrong.
Xavier
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My parents never hit me in the face, but I did get smacked on the butt occasionally to get my attention. It was effective. And as crazy as it sounds I'm not a career criminal and I don't go around beating people up.
Nina Parrilla
10:32 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
If you hit and bruise another adult you will be arrested but hit a child and bruise them it's honkey dorey. Violence begets violence.
diane
10:34 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I had an italian mother, she was the best in the world. If we deserved a smack, she gave it out, noever my Dad. She never gave it out unless we had it comming. She and my wonderful Dad raised three kids to be responsible decent people. What I wouldn't give right now to have her back..............
Mattie
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
My mom was a stay at home mom for most of our childhood. There were 5 kids. My dad worked a lot and commuted, too. Mom still has the " spoon-wit-da-holes " that she used on our butts- IF she could catch us! We usually ran like the wind and jumped into our beds and under the covers to protect ourselves. To this day we still laugh about some classic scenes of getting caught and still having the moons and stars (the holes) imprinted on our backsides!
I could would never, in all honesty, say my mother abused us.... we drove her nuts and she could only take so much. When yelling didn't work, da spoon came out! Even then, it really didn't happen that often.
None of us turned out to be big into spanking or hitting our kids, either. I think that comes from natural progression into 'knowing better' and realizing what's culturally acceptable and what's not from generation to generation.
Marynary
10:41 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I find it depressing that we have police officers assigned to the schools. In time these kids that go to the schools with cops as part of thier daily hallway scenes will accept that as normal. I think it is alarming that we need or even accept having police establishing routine patrol areas inside the school system on a daily basis.
Perhaps there has been some over reacting with regard to raising children when the court system gets involved.
Will we eventually place police in the workplace, when the child who is used to them in his school, goes to work?
Amber Wright
11:06 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I graduated school in 1983. I went to an all white school in an upper middle class neighborhood and guess what - we had a retired police officer at school everyday and on many days we had uniformed officers. I know of more kids that died of drugs or really screwed up their lives because of it. The cops were there to prevent the spread of drug use - it did not work - drugs were a plenty in my school - and the kids had the means to get them. I do not know if you people grew up in Andy Griffiths town - but in the real world we had cops in schools in the 80's, drug use was rampant and a lot of kids died because of it.
Xavier
2:01 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
I graduated in the mid 90s and we never had police in the schools.
Neil Kaye
10:46 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
The Romans allowed a father to kill a child up to the age of majority with no recourse in law as children were property. And of course women had no rights at all. In the USA, animal rights were put in place before children's rights. Some want to return to these "good old days." A slap hard enough to leave fingerprints and a bruise the next day could also cause injury to small blood vessels in the brain (think shaken baby syndrome). No, it's not OK. Oh, I happen to be a physician with a specialty in brain injury...
Amber Wright
10:59 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
If the police were called because a man and woman were fighting and the woman had a hand print on her face it would, rightfully so, be considered abuse and the man would get arrested. I see no difference between that slap and this one. A child should never be hit in the face - what kind of barbaric teaching is that?? Discipline yes - by all means - but physical abuse - no - never. A child should be taught to respect others by being respected, should be taught compassion by being shown compassion, empathy by having empathy shown to them. Exactly what does hitting teach a child? Let me tell you - it teaches a child not to trust, that if someone makes them angry enough you can hit them. Not the lesson I want my child to receive.
John Fleming Sr
11:14 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
OK Folks, according to the Superior Court of NJ in 2003, it is not abuse to continually beat your children even if you have a video of it. This is my (now ex) wife beating my children (2 videos) (if links don't work search youtube for "mother beats children and husband and gets custody OR TheAmazingOlderMan)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9u5lxc3Ccw&list=UUhRn3KhQP5Lf50xPcvLusHg&index=18&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC0edn3O6aA&list=UUhRn3KhQP5Lf50xPcvLusHg&index=1&feature=plcp
Nina Parrilla
11:50 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
That was sickning to watch I had to turn it off. Where is she now? eating everything at a free buffet?
Eggs-n-Toast
11:58 am on Thursday, April 12, 2012
There is now and has always been a very fine line between controlled spanking (on the butt, through clothing) and 'abuse' or 'beating'. Unfortunately many parents cross that line because
A; they don't know where that line is, or
B; they intentionally want to cross that line and hurt children.
John, the woman in your videos is not spanking, she is abusing. Not only is she physically abusive, but she is very much verbally abusive which is many times more damaging than any smack on the butt, and yes, even more damaging than a beating. I'm sorry for your children. I'm sorry the judge in your case had his head up his butt. I really think your ex had /has some serious mental issues she needed to have addressed. I hope she got help....
Nina, was that comment about the woman really necessary or appropriate? Not very mature of you picking on her because of her weight. Wasn't what she had done enough reason to comment? Why does her appearance warrant that kind of childish remark?
Dan Reynolds
10:17 am on Saturday, April 14, 2012
Had to stop watching... man, brutal...
Rebecca Savastio
12:33 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
My mother slapped me across the face exactly one time in my life, when I was 16. I don't remember what we were fighting about, but she was a single mom under a lot of stress and I'm sure I was being a major brat. When I look back on it at the age of 42, I can say my mom was/is probably one of the best moms that ever was or ever will be. Abusive? No way. I certainly learned my lesson well that day and probably came out better for the experience.
dhhex
2:01 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
The violence in our schools comes from parents not parenting effectively. How many parents are in contact with their child teachers? When you are a parent your life has to evolve around them. You have to know where they are, who they spend time with and what is on their minds. You have to talk to them, spend time with them. They have to be the no 1 priority in your life.
If you have hit your child recently, go and sit down with this child and ask him/her how they could have handled the situation better and also ask them how you could have handled it better. And come up with a compromise or solution with your child, for the next time you need to discipline your child.
make my day
2:01 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
When I was growing up, I was hit with a belt, a wooden spoon or whatever my mom could grab fast. I vowed not to do that with my kids. I was a yeller and my kids knew I was mad! They were sent to their room afterwards to think about things. They are successful and they have never been in trouble with the law!
Babe Truth
6:42 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Oh yeah, well when i was growing up I was whacked upside the headpiece with an anvil while eating a bar of soap and acting as an ashtray. I am successfully lounging in a prison cell so that proves violence works! PS Simpletruth, your kids were the biggest trouble makers ive ever met.
lisa
6:42 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
jeez, how hard are u hitting a kid when it leaves a bruise on their face. i've given my daughter a smack here or there but never hard enough to leave a bruise. wow
MG
8:44 pm on Thursday, April 12, 2012
Personally I do not believe in hitting children, and here is the reason why. Many people hit their children not to "teach them a lesson" but rather to release their own frustration at the child not listening to them. The child is forced to be physically abused and does not have the right to defend themselves. There just isn't anything right about that. How would an adult feel if they were hit everytime they ticked somebody off and then were not allowed to fight back?
Da Brickz
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
I agree besides a Taser gun is much more effective way to keep my kids in line
bud
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
Most parents today are afraid of their children and want to be their friends. They negotiate with them. As the "children" grow up, they cannot accept authority as in the case of a boss at a job. They become unable to function in a structured environment. A good kick in pants when they deserve it is good for them. The jails could not hold all the parents who have smacked their kids.
Dave Bell
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
A smack on the butt if really needed when they are little avoids a need to abuse them as they get older. Maybe a little more involvement by parents as kids grow and learn would make beating them or medicating them as they get older unnecessary.
make my day
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
Babe truth.. jealousy will get you nowhere! We prefer to stay on the "right" side of the law! According to your lounging arrangements, you must prefer the"other" side. I feel for you.
Jane Healton
9:27 am on Friday, April 13, 2012
Striking someone who is in your face and offensive is a normal, simple and unlearned human reaction. When you become a parent your relinquish your rights to those sorts of simple reactions in regards to your children. You consider who the child is and apply appropriate measures. A toddler is not an 8 year old is not a 12 year old is not a 15 year old. A tractable child who changes into a hell-raiser needs investigation, not knee jerk reactions. That being said no one has focused on the brother acting out on the sister. One sibling cannot be allowed to abuse another, period. Abusing the offender in return teaches no lesson worth being noticed. If the court system in turn teaches that the parents are powerless in regards to their children we have the mess we are in. It's all about emotional intelligence and having the wisdom to apply power in a way that causes growth.
Mattie
3:14 pm on Friday, April 13, 2012
Well said, Jane.
Leif Moldskred
8:57 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
To hit a child in the face or head with force is, to my mind, a declaration of failure as a parent,
Rick Dean
11:54 am on Thursday, April 18, 2013
I raised 4 kids. Never paddled any of them more than 3 times. I grew up slapped and beat regularly. My mind was impaled with violent rejection, coldness and unfairness. I've been in more fights than anyone else. Marines, boxing and street. My mind churns with conflict when its not occupied with pleasant things. I had empathy and dedication to my kids. I broke my side of the curse for them. And they are well.